THE TRAGEDY OF AGEISM
How old is the oldest member of your family, how close are you to them and how well do you know them? What is your personal attitude towards the Elderly?
The sad truth is that the Aged are systematically being discriminated against because of their chronological age. Add to that, the erroneous assumption that illness or diminished abilities to care for oneself also denotes that the person’s mind has also deteriorated. Alzheimer’s disease affects only 1.9% of people between the ages of 65-69 and only 29% of those over 85. This means that 71% of the population of the Aged, are not suffering from any mental deficiencies other than those they were afflicted with during their younger years.
Stereotyping and negative myths are at the heart of the discrimination directed at the Elderly. They are portrayed as frail, senile, and totally dependent on family or health care professionals by those who are impatient with their very existence. Those with such attitudes are likely to view an Elderly person as someone whose timer should have gone off or that the expiration date is approaching simply because society says so even without the presence of any logical reasoning.
Family members who grew up without the proper bonding to their parents or Elders or were not shown the value of the wisdom of their Grandparents, are the biggest contributors to the myths that the Aged are of no value to society. Many of the Aged are alone in their struggle to physically care for themselves either because they have no close family to assist or because the family they do have, does not want the responsibility .
According to a study by Alison Parsons, Geriatric Assessment Unit in Sydney Australia, it is essential for everyone to understand that the Elderly are quite capable of absorbing new information even when their mental agility may not be as quick. After retirement age, many of the Aged do not need to be mentally quick because they see their retirement years as a time to relax and further enjoy life. Unfortunately for some of the Aged, enjoying retirement is not such an easy undertaking because of their physical disabilities but that should not stop them from dreaming about a better life just as the rest of the population does.
An even worse situation is when the unbonded, unloving family members lie in wait for that timer to expire so that their guilt can end or so that they may reap the benefits of what the family member leaves behind. Although rare, some family members try to assist in that push to the afterlife by stripping the Elderly relative of their dignity by fighting to have them declared as incapable of caring for themselves and lacking the mental capacity to make competent decisions. The motive is often money…the inheritance. The Aged person is then expected to prove their competency to the authorities rather than the family member who is trying to rush them along to that expiration date. The stress that this imposes on an Aged person has the same impact that it would if it were done to a healthy person…..it damages their health and if this is not a crime with potential for legal action, then it certainly represents a crime against the Aged because of a lack of morals and conscience. But fortunately, there are those out there that will fight to protect Elders against those who commit crimes against them.
The Elders, the aged members of our society should be the most valued because they carry with them the most wisdom. Their wisdom comes from experience and having ‘lived it’ and they should be treated like the gold they are. As one who grew up understanding the wisdom of my Elders, I never hesitate to spend the time talking to the wisest of all because the lessons learned cannot be found in any textbook. Our Elders carry with them a personal history that is unique to everyone else’s and to ignore that is sheer stupidity.
There are elderly educators who still have the ability to teach but society says they are too old to be useful. Imagine a child without a grandparent being able to spend time with a 90 year old filled with stories that have not been written. Instead of our Elder program being one of just providing them a meal or a ride to their doctor, why not ask them to participate in a real Elder program that provides a history lesson to the youngest. Why not employ the Elders as a story teller (their own) at the day care center or children’s summer programs? How about an Elders history or discussion circle? Give a group of Elders a topic with issues and they will solve it.
One thing is certain, society needs to change its perception of the Aged and respect them for what they still have to offer instead of who we think they should be. They are still people with much to contribute who not only deserve our respect, but our care. Do yourself a favor and find an Elder to take care of. The lessons learned will be invaluable.
copyright Lynne Weaver March 2009
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