How to Be a Good Sault Tribe Member for Dummies

By Lynne Weaver
Ten rules to being a good Sault Tribe member.
1. Never question authority.
This is by far the most important rule to becoming a faithful and obedient Sault Tribe member. Tribal Officials are the ultimate and final authority, not law enforcement as some may assume. Do not conclude that as a voting member, you have the right to opinions that may question authority.
2. Learn to nod yes effectively.
Move your head from its upright position directly downward until the chin touches the area located at the top of the breastbone. This movement signals your approval with whatever you are told by tribal officials.
3. Ignore the tribal constitution.
This document was originally intended for approval by the Bureau of Indian Affairs for the purpose of obtaining federal acknowledgement and can be amended by the Sault Tribe Board of Directors only, as needed.
4. Believe everything you are told.
If tribal officials tell you that everything is hunky-dorey fine, you should believe it because they would never deceive tribal members unless it was absolutely necessary. The definition of “necessary” is at the discretion of the board and other tribal officials.
5. Do not ask for tribal financial updates.
The financial position of the tribe is none of your business. The “don’t ask-don’t tell” rule is always in effect.
6. Do not ask that the meetings be televised as before.
One of the benefits of having tribal members not living within meeting zones is that it is less complicated for tribal officials. If members can’t attend meetings, it is easier not to be held accountable. This is also easier for members come election time since a simple guess is all that is required to know who has worked in the best interest of the tribe.
7. Give back your Elder check if you received one.
The Board of Directors needs it to pay for unnecessary trips across the country to attend conferences that bring nothing of value back to the tribe.
8. Be happy that the board is not making any financial sacrifices for the tribe.
Someone has to benefit from all the money received from the land claims. Be happy that you don’t have the headaches associated with how to spend 67K a year for working a part-time job. Since members are not privy to such highly confidential information, apologies to all if the figure is higher now.
9. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
If you have heard about the FBI investigations and the discovery of the endless can of worms, put your hands over your ears. If you were a witness to questionable activities by any tribal official, cover your eyes. Place your hand over your mouth if you feel tempted to tell anyone what you have heard or seen.
10. Drink the red koolaid as soon as the effects of the first nine rules begins to wear off.